#from my pov i'm basically yelling about it lol

[ofgoldandfear]

I've made a slight update to Margot's playlist, with some tracks moved around and a couple added.

I've been switching between this one and the actual game's OST as well to stay in the mood while thinking about the details of Margot's narrative direction.

@lopposting mentioned an interview explaining that the next game won't necessarily be as dark, as the devs adapt the tone to the story rather than the other way around (and I love them for that ngl). However my own inspiration for Margot is pretty fucking dark already (in fact it's based on the darkest iteration of that specific story), so I guess we'll maintain the sad vibe lol besides I think Margot and P can co-exist in the same space, since I'll start with Margot basically being an NPC in P's storyline before having her take a turn at the helm once P's story is wrapped up.

The story I want to tell is another take on grief and loss, with an added layer about girlhood and motherhood - while P has a creator and has been technically alive for three days, Margot has had a whole life by comparison, she's an actual human being, born and raised by her parents. Still, whether you're an unbound Puppet or a young woman who managed to disappear completely, there's still choices to be made.

If you wonder what the inspiration for Margot is, I've been laying it on pretty thick in her introduction, so go check it out. And expect a lot of hints everywhere, layers in layers. Even when I'm being not-so-subtle, I'm still not going to handout replies without having people think about it first.

Back to her playlist, the one part I am not looking forward to write about it the part that'll require "Pull the trigger". Oh boi what a scene it's going to be. I'll probably have to take a short break after that one.

[nemisuki]

Silence

Secret Dating AU | When the two quiet classmates begin dating - chaos ensues. A small snippet of class 3A being dorks and finding out the truth of the hidden couple among them. 

᧔o᧓ || shoto todoroki x f!reader, no manga spoilers, fluff, monotoned reader, aged up to third years, silly moments, class 3A included, third person pov, dense todoroki, reader is basically a female shoto lol, oneshot, 1.0k word count 

Not many words were spoken between the both of you.

Your own classmates always wondered - when did the two quiet students of the class start dating?

The look of shock on everyone's faces when they first found out was almost laughable.

No one could've expected this outcome. Y/N and Todoroki weren't talkers whatsoever.

The duo was a pair of listeners in a room full of talkers. Often blending in the background of their extroverted peers.

If anything they seemed like the gender bent versions of each other, quiet individuals with occasional comments here and there.

The news of their relationship rapidly spread around the classroom on a random Tuesday.

It all started during their usual hero training class.

Todoroki wasn't a student who was often distracted during practice.

So it was understandable when everyone was visibly concerned - seeing their usually calm classmate, on the ground panting and clearly thinking about something.

Those who were around, immediately stopped whatever they were doing and rushed over to see what's wrong.

"Todoroki you okay?" Deku yells out, swiftly running over with a worried gaze. Not used to seeing his friend in such a state.

"We should help him sit on the sidelines, c'mon let's help our classmate everyone!" Iida interjects, fully embracing the role of class rep.

Waving his stiff hands around like he's guiding a celebrity down the path, which in reality is a bit amusing.

If it's one thing that's true about Class 3A - it's that they're a family.

After everything that's happened in the years they've been together, they understand each other like no one else.

With the help of everyone, they plop Todoroki down to rest against the wall.

All looking at him with worried gazes but with a collective question in mind.

He seems to already know what they're thinking and simply hums, "Thank you all for your help but I'm fine. Just overused my quirk is all."

With a thankful nod he grabs a water bottle - sipping away it's cold contents.

Though brushing off the question, his distant gaze says otherwise, something clearly on his mind.

Yet everyone was hesitant to ask, not wanting to overstep in case they were treading on a sensitive topic.

All but one person.

Seeing a small group of their classmates on the sidelines - she approaches silently.

Her gaze observing and focusing in on the boy, the gears in her mind turning until it clicks.

Without anyone noticing, she disappears from the crowd for a moment.

Returning only a few minutes later with something in her hands and walking over to him, who's now standing up and conversing with the others.

She stands by his side quietly, waiting for him to notice her presence in the array of students.

It doesn't take long for him to look in her direction - as if he knew she'll be at his side.

His multicolored eyes meet hers and without speaking she holds up a small container of strawberries, courtesy of her packed snacks she always prepped the night before, and just barely tilting her head towards him.

In an instant he understands.

For anyone that was playing close attention, they would've noticed his softened stare directed at her.

He takes the container of fruit with a small "thank you" and begins eating the meal provided for him.

Their classmates watch in shock at the silent exchange between the two. It was almost as if they talked with just their eyes alone, like their brains were in sync.

"Hey Y/N why'd you bring Todoroki some strawberries? To make him feel better?" Kirishima smiles, looking at the duo with curiosity.

"Shoto was hungry. That's why he was extra tired today, not because he was sad" she mumbles, looking around the group calmly.

"Oh- is that true Todoroki?" Deku asks, a bit taken back at this sudden revelation.

The entire class looks at the boy's direction, who seems to be unfazed, carefully munching on his strawberries as he speaks, "Yes. I didn't have time to eat a proper breakfast."

At his confirmation, everyone seemed to relax, laughter heard all around.

Seems they were worried for nothing - though one question still lingered in the air.

"Well that's a relief! But hey Y/N how'd ya know that Todoroki was hungry?" Kaminari mentions, stating the question that those around we're all thinking of.

"We both overslept at his dorm room" she casually replies, a neutral expression on her face.

Now that comment made chaos ensue, collective gasps heard across the room.

A teasing whistle from Kaminari echoed out loud, as Sero slings his arm around Todoroki with a sly grin, "Sheesh 'Roki I didn't take you for the kinda guy to sneak ladies into your dorm past curfew!"

"Todoroki you sly dog!" Kaminari cooes, shaking the stoic guy with pure amusement, giving him nudges of encouragement.

He finally looks up as he chews on the red fruit, unaffected by the growing uproar, "We were studying together and she fell asleep. So I let her stay over-"

"Uh huhhhhh funny story! You sure you guys didn't cuddle in bed~" Kaminari snickers, earning some giggles from the class.

Todoroki is quiet for a moment, seeming to be thinking but then speaks up with a nod, "I suppose that's a possibility. Though I was asleep so I wouldn't fully know."

"Wait wait wait! You guys slept in the same bed?!" Kirishima practically yells out in disbelief.

"Well we're dating so yes-" Todoroki says but is soon cut off by dramatic commotion all around him.

"Since when?!"

"What!"

"You and Y/N?!"

"Why didn't you tell us?!"

"Because you guys didn't ask" Y/N mumbles softly on his behalf, looking at her now-public boyfriend with a hidden message in her eyes.

Todoroki hums despite her not saying anything to him and offers the last strawberry, to which she takes it with an invisible smile only he can see.

It was as if Class 3A uncovered a secret that was evident right before their eyes.

On a random Tuesday. 

✦ ⎯��⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨ masterlist || taglist || intro || socials ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⎯⎯ ✦

a/n ||| wowww a todoroki fic?! gasp! kinda short compared to my other fics bc shoto is hard to write for with my lack of skills ໒꒰ྀི ౦   ̫ o꒱ྀིა was supposed to be a bkg fic but i think it suits roki better!

[somewhereincairparavel]

Hazel and Jason's dynamic is SO fucking disappointing now that I'm binge reading the books again. It was so frosty and distant. Jason was literally just mistrusted and "not like what she expected him to be" in 90% of her Hoo POVS it's sad really. I really wish they would bonded properly. So much potential for friendship just down the drain.

Hazel's unwillingness to forgive Jason for suspecting Nico was genuinely pissing me off I'm sorry 😭 like I never thought I'd get mad at Hazel of all people bc she is literally a sweetie, but she's infantilized way too much in the fandom, so her flaws are easily overlooked, but like she literally went all volcano on Jason and held a grudge against him till House of Hades too? Like I get that she worried about her brother and stuff I'd be mad too. But it's the fact that she selectively forgave Leo SO quickly and never even yelled at him (even though he's the one who started the suspicion in the first place even jokingly called nico creepy and stuff behind his back not that I'm trying to fault him or anything I love him)

look I'm not saying it's all Leo's fault or anything, in my opinion, both Jason and Leo were right to suspect nico because of how back and forth nico went from both camps without saying a word and also pretended to not know percy and stuff. So it's realistically shady behaviour from their pov.

But Hazel gets all sweet and soft on Leo because of Sammy and forgives him in a heartbeat, tbh tho she never really directed her anger on Leo in the first place so there was nothing to forgive. But when Jason apologizes, she gets all cold and frosty like accepting his genuine apology is the hardest thing she has ever done?? Like?? Hazelnut I love you and all, but you just accused Jason of unfairly judging nico but you ironically unfairly judged Jason and went all sweetheart on Leo?? Contradiction much?? Either forgive both of them or don't forgive either of them? Why the bias?

Then in HoH she goes on a whole lot of yapping about how she doubts his capabilities as if she didnt just idolize him like 5 minutes ago RIGHT after he encouraged her that she was doing well and included her as a part of the team?? Idk, she was so petty with him and for what?. I just found it unfair that Jason considered hazel a friend but she didn't consider him one and just fully went all judgy mode on him for the rest of the series. she holds on an even bigger grudge than nico lol. she literally did anything but forgive him or give him a chance. so ooc.

Also, In TOA, I found out Hazel told Apollo that she talked to Jason's ghost after he died, to yell at him about how much his sacrifice had hurt Piper :/ like rlly? Out of all the things you could say to a person you idolized who made a lifechanging sacrifice, you guilt trip him for the sacrifice instead of gratitude? Ig she may have been raging out of grief or something but I honestly didn't like the way their dynamic ended. So incomplete. Just another reason of why I found fanon way better.

Hazel coming in terms with the fact that jason is a boy, and not a legend would've been sm better. since the seven basically signifies friendship and comfort. him being a boy with feelings is basically the whole point of his character, but it only gets acknowledged by nico and leo. hazel of all people would've understood jason's internal struggle, she has literally come back from the dead, if anyone knows about struggle, its her.

[thedawningofthehour]

SORRY FOR THE LONG ASK but you activated my sleeper agent rottmnt brainstorming Re: The Video Game Question

Raph: would probably like low strategy single player games and lean toward arcade/motion control based experiences because they present a way around the "Hand Too Big Controller Too Small And Breakable" problem. As an Oldest Sibling (speaking from an Oldest Sibling Gamer pov) he would have been the Designated Single Player Driver (I have a vivid mental image of Raph playing old c tier single player wii games like My Sims Kingdom while Mikey, Leo, and Donnie yell instructions at him) and I think he's still gravitated towards those kinds of games. He also feels like the kind of guy who will thoroughly enjoy every video game he plays but his favorite is still inexplicably just like. Uno for the ps3

Leo: Would like competitive games. I feel like he's the kinda guy who cannot bring himself to give a shit about the story or aesthetics of a game and cannot care at all about single player video games outside of speedrunning or something. The point of games for him Is To Win. I feel like him and Donnie both played CSGO or COD at a young age with voice chat and thats why they are who they are. His favorite game is probably a competitive hero shooter or smth. He probably is playing Valorant as we speak.

Donnie: I feel like he's the only one who is a Capital "G" Gamer. Has the broadest taste but tends to like games he can "lose himself" in. (Competitive shooters, MMOs, lengthy and intricate single player games IE: Dark Souls or Elden Ring, metroidvanias, RPGs, fighting games) If the taste of Donnie Gamer Mode we get in the show is anything to go by, he seems the type to obsess over a game for like a month, beat it 120%, probably achieve some level or speedrunning or competitive infamy and then drop it completely never to be seen again.

Mikey: Would love sandbox games for Sure. Plays Minecraft but only on creative mode. Will play sims but only with cheats to make super intricate mansions or crazy houses or recreate something he saw in a movie once. He would 100% play single player games his brothers already beat so he can look around at the scenery and mess around in a character creator. Will play an open world game and never do a single main story mission and call it quits when he gets bored.

They've all 100% played a bunch of really weird and bad shovelware games or really cheap 3rd party titles because they were what Splinter could get for them. They all have 10 to 15 mobile idle games they'll rotate out bc they all need to be Stimulated at All Times. Yes they have played Mario Party and Killed Each Other over it but more importantly they have played Dokapon Kingdom and have started rivalries that have lasted several months over this game. They will hold grudges til they die over this game. They have never gotten to the end screen of this game and in all likelihood, never will.

Idk maybe my vibes are off tho lol but can you tell I've thought about this a lot to my own detriment

There's actually a point in the next book-I think it's in chapter 1 but I can't remember-where Galois mentions giving Raph one of Draxum's oversized keyboards when he has to do anything on the computer. (Draxum has large-print keyboards because he's Old) I think I've mentioned that the boys all have larger-than-normal phones because they only have the three fat fingers and that's just not gonna work with a standard iPhone. Raph I feel like is basically Strong from Fallout 4:

(bless him)

I'm reminded of when my sister would sit and watch my play Dream Life to 'learn', until I moved it into my own room. Really, their first console was probably 'whatever Splinter found in a dumpster and still worked', so unless it was something with connected controllers they were probably playing off whatever controllers he'd found as well, so it's entirely possible they legit just had the one controller for awhile. And yeah, they all crowd around to watch Raph play because that's annoying little sibling behavior.

Mikey would love games where the goal is to Make Something. He doesn't care about winning, only stepping back and looking at the finished product and going "nice." I do feel like he'd actually play the sims though-the twins use it as a building simulator, but he'd absolutely get into the lives and stories of his sims. He builds too, but he also gets into creating the sim. He plays Fallout 4 with the Sim Settlements mod and never finds Shaun because all he's doing is building shacks for farmers.

Oh, Leo is absolutely in it to win it. In any way, if it has a score he can use to compare to Donnie's he loves it. The sole exception to this is city builders, I can absolutely see him sinking days into Cities Skylines creating elaborate planned cities with complicated mass transit and beautiful walking spaces.

The other exception is if he can fuck around in a game and be chaotic. He plays Skyrim and installs the sex mods not because he's horny, but because he thinks going around in this incredibly inappropriately horny fantasy world is hysterical. He uses it more as a Medieval Life Simulator and if he completes a quest it's entirely by accident.

Donnie is absolutely the worst gamer and will learn literally everything there is about the game after playing it through once. He also probably mods his games, or even makes his own mods. Some of them to make everything look cooler or add quality of life and immersion stuff in, but he'll also do stuff like install the mod that replaces the Skyrim arrow noises with a man going "pew!"

Omg they absolutely played knock-off games as kids. They probably lied to Mikey about them being off-brand so he didn't feel bad about their situation, telling him that the title was a misprint and all the ads for the actual game were lying.

[sanrielle]

⭐️ - for the directors cut ask <3 hope you’re doing okay!!

I'm doing pretty well, thanks :D Hope you are too! Thanks for the ask :)

So this goes back a bit, but it's related to my smut fic, 'As Long As You Need Me', which was left kind of open-ended (mostly to avoid angst). I had ideas for a non-canon sequel--basically an AU--that would take place 20-25 years later. Rather than letting their issues/jobs get in the way of happiness, Toph and Sokka would end up with some accidental kids over the years and figure things out together.

I never wrote this fic, but I did write a scene. It's formatted as a diary entry from the POV of Suyin, the youngest of five. She has a twin brother named Koda, who is deaf and blind. Her other siblings are Kya (Sokka totally stole the name before Katara could use it lol), Ilia, and Lin. Suyin is meant to be ten in the fic, but she tells a story from when she was a couple years younger.

Anyway, I've dug that scene out of my dusty chest-o-abandoned-WIPs :D

~~~~~

Two years ago, we went to the Lantern Festival and Mom punched a guy in the face!! It was AWESOME.

(Since she started the police force back before Kya was born, she’s good friends with the Chief so she got off with a warning.)

But anyway, here’s what happened:

“We’re going to go find our friends,” Ilia said when we got there. She and Kya always went off on their own.

“Can I go with them??” Lin begged. 

“No way! We’re not here to babysit!”

“It’s not babysitting! I’m not a little kid!”

I just kept quiet while they argued, knowing me and Koda would be staying with Mom and Dad whatever happened.

“Mom, c’mon,” Lin said. “At least let me go find my friends.”

Mom probably would’ve let her go, but Dad interrupted.

“C’mon, Lin. It’ll be fun! Remember last year, how we snuck into the parade?”

“Ugh, that was so embarrassing!”

“Oh, give it a rest,” Mom said. “You loved it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Mom was right— She and Lin had ‘borrowed’ a dragon costume and run up and down the parade with it. Me and Koda stayed with Dad and climbed onto one of the floats. It was a lot of fun because I got to climb up to the top and wave at people like I was a princess or something.

Anyway, by the time Lin gave up arguing and agreed to come with us, Kya and Ilia were gone. I wished they’d come with us and we could’ve all gone together, but I guess they’re just too grown up to hang out with their parents and siblings :(

We walked around for a little while and played some games, then went to where there were a bunch of food carts by the park and got a little bit of everything. We sat in the grass and pigged out while listening to a band.

Koda was really happy that day. I guess he could feel the beat of the music or something because he got up and started dancing, making excited, happy noises.

He’s never said any words—how would he know them?—so the noises he makes sound a little funny, I guess. He makes different sounds if he’s sad or happy or scared or mad, but I think only people in our family can tell the difference.

Another family walked past and they had a boy about my age. I saw him point at Koda and say something to his dad. I couldn’t hear them but Mom has SUPER hearing and she must’ve heard what the dad said because she got up and stomped over to him all angry. Even though I tried SO hard to listen, I don’t know what she said, but at least I got to see her punch him right in the nose!

It was HILARIOUS! The guy fell right on his BUTT and his face was all bloody! Dad got up real quick and went over there. The guy was yelling and his wife was yelling. Koda was still dancing and making noises, not caring about anything else in the world, so I got up and danced with him. When Mom was done yelling, she and Dad came back and we all danced together—even Lin!

[jeremy-queere]

im actually gonna liveblog my own thoughts about those last few chaps of my fic, which are basically always going to be "i'm hilarious actually" but yknow. specific lines. minor spoilers ig

>be jeremy >tell rich about how you fixed the giant issue where yelling at a squip can turn off every squip in the network >by telling him this aloud, you just alerted the squips to this security flaw >mfw i destroyed the easiest way to save the world without a second thought: :) >still smilling at rich, ready for praise >rich short circuits.

plus with the shutdown that christine mentioned this chapter. it's almost like ? jeremy isn't coming at this from a perspective of wanting to turn squips off???? and never even bothered researching that option??? 😂 bonkers. who'd have thought

i fully recognize that having a coder POV say "The bugs, miraculously, became rarer and smaller" is the biggest ask in the fic in terms of suspension of disbelief. maybe when jeremy is better at this they'll realize they were wrong about that. not in a "this update is secretly a time bomb" way but in a "holy shit i can't believe i used to think this was good programming" way

i still think it's funny whenever i reference jeremy muting themself after the FIRST TIME it came up where jeremy acknowledged that "muting themself wasn't any different from a human just choosing not to speak." i love my weird robot child.

i still like the "C-c-c-c'mon, Jeremy, can't you see, we've got a date, so concentrate! We'll start with us, just me and you, some deja vu, and then ensue: your microchip plus our friendship-" implying "the squip" being sung in the same lovestruck voice as the chorus usually sings "christine."

^ i usually pick a song to write the summary from based solely on vibes and character focus. the fact that this was from Upgrade rather than two player game was a dead giveaway regarding michael's intentions btw.

writing michael after that last mall scene has been so weird. on purpose. but like everything he says is a catchy line ending on a discordant note. the sudden pivot from slowburn to joking about having sex and humanity = romance. every time michael interrupts or talks over jeremy instead of going out of his way to set a good example, i wince lol. encouraging them to stop thinking so much. ignoring every one of jeremy's soft "no"s because they're inconvenient. Here Are Our Stereotypical Nerd Spots and Here Is Your Mandated Giant Teddy Bear and Here Is My Secret Condom. (jeremy sprinted into the sunset before we got to that part and we all thank them for it.) jeremy never once having indicated that they wanted to actually have sex any time soon but michael did everything in his power to make sure the date would end that way without a single worry about what jeremy told them about chloe.

i don't think it's spoilers to clarify that michael was in the driver's seat for all of that, but was in a situation where he was very incentivized to listen to the SQUIP. and jeremy looooves squips so obviously the SQUIP is the expert on this, not michael :P

madeline offscreen: constant orgies, pretending to be from paris, scheming femme fatale madeline for the 2.3 seconds she was onscreen: i swear quebec is better than people give it credit for wait don't go-

jeremy's definition of breaking up with someone is, consistently, running away from an emotionally charged moment and convincing themself that they hate them. lol.

christine accusing jeremy of talking at her was also a direct response to the author trying to get on their wikipedia-level-of-philosophy-knowledge soapbox again. btw on that note, observation selection effect seems to only be mentioned in places as a synonym for the anthropic principle. it is more specific than how jeremy defines it, being an existential thing about how "the range of possible observations that could be made about the universe is limited by the fact that observations could happen only in a universe capable of developing intelligent life" (~ wikipedia <3). i get away with a lot of bullshit claims, some of them even intentionally bullshit, bc the character making those claims is reading even less of the wikipedia article than i am.

but that was transparently just a nod to the book being one of the many parallel universes that are foundational to how the squip works in canon

speaking of references that delight me and me alone, in-character phantom of the opera reference re: pageboy

i think all the main/supporting cast all think they're the main characters. except jeremy! not because of jeremy 1.0's insistence that he's not a leading man, but because they have been so busy with observing themself that they haven't even considered anyone else observing them and coming to different conclusions. (see: the PA system joke with michael which alerted the ENTIRE SCHOOOOooool 🎶 to their situation, which in jeremy's narrative, was just a gag as part of a longer fun flirty convo with michael, brought up for laughs and then forgotten.) (it's not like it's plot relevant as in that it doomed them or anything, but just a signal that not everyone perceives the fic events like jeremy does!!)

they're trying to learn to be less self-absorbed (and i'm not saying that as an insult so much as an accurate description of their default thought patterns) but it IS a learning curve. for all their self-reflection, i would describe them as a very reactive person, which is also probably why they (along with jeremy 1.0 and keanu squip) constantly struggle/d with needing a sense of control

im aware that despite christine's in-character criticism of the narrative i wrote 🙃 that she's here for exposition and emotional closure. she knows and she's not happy about it. it's a consequence of writing the story i wanted to tell but that doesn't make it immune from criticism. it's a good question for me, that the story i wanted to tell DID involve removing her agency so much. but i don't see that as a question that needs a direct answer or for me to defend so much as something to reflect on after it's over. in the meantime christine ma'am i'll give you something good in the epilogue i prommy, and i'll add something about this to my notes now that i think about it.

[redphienix]

Honestly, Palworld looks like a mid-to-bad crafting survival game with a passable creature capture idea slapped on top.

It has like. Negative appeal to me, but I'm not the target audience in like 14 different ways.

But.

I hope it updates well and improves and goes from (from fan's perspectives) "Good" to "Great" because of three reasons.

1: I like when games good.

2: I like when genre mashes succeed in melding the two and allowing both to thrive, it's neat to me. Palworld ain't the first to do it or anything, we literally have pokemon minecraft mods, but it is "Recognized" right now and I think that'd be nice.

3: Literally ANYTHING that lights a fire under mega-billion-dollar Pokemon's ass is good in my book.

Not even from a "disappointed pokemon fan" POV, just as a pokemon fan in any respect, I want Pokemon to go "OH YEAH, Well then FUCK YOU, We'll invest in the games for once instead of skirting by on the recognition of our IP and our next games will be FUCKING GREAT!!!"

Because even if I don't really care enough to play whatever those games are, I want Pokemon to be at its best too, so like, that'd be cool :)

But yeah Palworld looks shit to my tastes, but not shit in general. I see some people violently swinging back at it on principle and like, yeah sure you can do that. Also see people yelling that it's a cheap ripoff and like, yep. But it's not nearly as lazy as you'd expect such a thing to be. Looks pretty genuine in more ways than I'd have expected so IDK, I mean they even went with being a different genre and the like- this ain't a phone app pretending to be a popular IP, it's kinda its own thing in 'some' ways.

Now it is VEHEMENTLY lacking in originality, that I will gladly join in laughing about because like holy shit lol

But it appears to be trying to be worth a damn despite that so like, eh, that's fine. Like the difference to me between some "copy" like this and then sony's "Foamstars" is that Foamstars is ripping off a highly original and creative IP in a desperate attempt to rake in Splatoon's money, and Splatoon is still a new and thriving IP that has thoroughly earned that slice of the pie. Foam is trying to basically 1 to 1 recreate splatoon but funnel the money their way, that's lame.

Pokemon stopped trying to earn its fill years ago, it needs reminded of where it's at in my opinion. Be shameless and outperform in your own way I say- looks like Pal is trying lmao

Ain't for me. I hope it succeeds and does well by its fans both for its own sake and because I think big pika money bags having to compete for once in their (modern) life would be nice lol

Perhaps I'd be more critical if I sat down and played it or something, but like, nah. I don't need to. I don't want to. My opinion doesn't need to be nuanced on a random silly video game lol

[imagineitdearies-old]

I'm a lurker on this site but i wanted to drop by and say that the dynamic you've created with Aemond and Luke is sooooo impressively complex and layered- and so drenched in miscommunication and blockages and issues. I just read on Twitter (lol) about emotionally damaged people wanting their partners to prove their love to them because they feel they do not deserve it- and how that can be soo harmful. Obvs in the context of GOT and D+S and all of the twisted stuff aemond had gone through and heard its a lot more serious (he is so crazy love it). But yeah.

Wonderful wonderful job! I'm excited to see where this goes and if they can talk for real and sort this out because while I AMMM not gonna lie I'm a little upset with luke (I'm an emotional person swayed by aemonds pov.. i know rhae and luke will sort this out i believe it with myy tender heart) I feel as if this has a lot more to it than just aemond kind of dooming it from the start with his insecurities.

By that I mean, he seemed to always be waiting for something terrible to happen, looking for evidence to feed his insecurity and his anxiety and post-trauma. And this is just.. gasoline to those flames in his mind. He's like: Luke has just confirmed everything I've been saying in my own head.

Where are the westerosi therapists? These mfs need COUNSELLING! Hahaha. And alicent of course. I love her so much I could weep for her! It's like 4am and I have really bad insomnia so I re read the entirety of D+S and while I am a little glad that rhaenyra can comfort and help alicent my girl, I know it is also a big trauma in itself to have your secrets in the open like that in such a tense and emotional context too. I hope she's okay.

Anyways thanks for reading (?) This novel length ask you're doing sooooo amazing- love love love it. And love the fight in the comments LOL!

Hey, this was all so kind and sweet!! I feel ya on the insomnia--I have a 7:30am job so I basically just live off anxiety and bursts of mania until I can sleep through the weekend, lol.

Yes, 'prove your love by doing xx' is a really toxic thing to ask for. And ineffective--Aemond's not thinking very clearly (lol), but IF Luke gave him what he wanted I think he'd feel momentary satisfaction at best. He told himself in that scene that he wasn't blackmailing Luke like he could have, but it was still emotional blackmail and they wouldn't have walked away closer. In fact, I can't see them recovering from it.

Then there's Luke who HAD the knife in case Aemond really couldn't forgive/move forward without using it, so he was very ready to feed into this toxic idea himself--until Aemond completely blindsided him of course by taking it a step farther/worse 😂 If this was a modern!AU you can BETCHA the happy ending would involve therapy, lol.

As I've told others, you are very welcome to take Aemond's side. He's got the least power in their dynamic and the most emotional baggage, and readers have all the context for the choices he's made right now. AND Luke hasn't been entirely forthcoming about his family (even if it was in the name of protecting them), so this situation acting like gasoline is an apt metaphor to Aemond's short fuse personality, lol.

Alicent deserves all the soft, good things, I just want to wrap her up in a blanket next to a cozy fire, make her some relaxing tea and stroke her hair 🥺 not saying that's exactly what Rhaenyra is up to off screen right now, haha, but she's certainly not yelling at her I promise. The gals are better off than the guys atm, haha.

I'm loving reading everyone's thoughts here and in the comments (for the most part lol), while you've been busy rereading D&S I've been busy rereading those!!

[supermacaquecool]

About my Hairy Matters fic.

I'm really proud of the opening paragraph for this one because it gets across really really really well how mad Aoi is at the siblings lol

'Miu, Miu, Miu.' Kaito's voice echoes incessantly. 'I told you to do it before you went out.' 'Ugh, you're so annoying, why don't you ever shut up?' And so on. The Shinonome are back at it again. They fight over everything, even about where they sit at the table. Aoi wishes there were a way to make them stop. Whatever the issue is, it surely doesn't warrant all the yelling, all the name-calling, all the tantrums. Is it that hard to listen to each other and cooperate? Should she get involved? If only Takuma were here… In his absence, she has no choice but to step up to the task.

The way their usual song and dance gets recalled is just so irked up. It's not just that they're fighting but that they fight nonstop and that she finds their behavior unreasonable lol

This one was written because of a twitter poll where I asked who cuts Miu's hair, whether it was Miu herself, Kaito, their parents or a hairdresser lol I'm pretty sure this was because I was thinking on another pair of siblings from the game "World's end game club", where hair-cutting was a significant bonding activity between them (plus the cute fanart with Miu retouching Kaito's root). I got some pretty interesting answers that I felt could evidence their complicated dynamic/household situation. Why write it from Aoi's pov? For one, she's my fav. But another thing is that I wished that the Shinonome making their rocky dynamic everyone's problem was more explored in the game, and Aoi is their leader + the one who is the biggest Harmony proponent, so I thought it could be interesting writing her dealing with them.

When writing Aoi's pov for this fic, I wanted to get across a number of things:

Her hidden anger–I quoted in the notes her wrathful line "Siblings should get along" because it really highlights how much she resented them for being so disruptive without saying a peep. She gets really condescending to Kaito and Miu in her debut as Plutomon, so I wanted to explore some of that.

Her near-constant state of complete anxiety and the causes it stems from. Her lack of self-confidence showing through how little faith she has in her speech. Lots of worries about whether she can do it, whether she can pick the right answer to pacify them and reach harmony, whether they'd hear her (I think this can have a bit of a tenous implication about her worries on whether her authority is respected). These anxieties also show her obsession with doing things right, which adds to her tension (my friend remarked that she's so careful with every aspect of her actions, it made her felt unnerved alongside Aoi lol).

Aoi's constant self-monitoring and self-censoring based on being on high alert about others' reactions at all times.

Her tendency to feel deeply for others still pushing her to empathize with them/want to help them.

I was quite pleased with how, despite the intense anxiety, Aoi still comes across as fairly driven, scanning for the next task to tackle.

The conflict between Miu and Kaito lasts a fairly small portion of the fic, which ends up mostly devoted to Kaito's perspective on it. It was challenging to figure out a way to get him to open up and talk about it in a way that felt organic— channeling his protectiveness over Miu's peculiarities was a really effective way to do it. Overall, it felt a sucessful try at capturing the way arguments get complicated between the clashing perspectives and personalities, and using Dracmon to smooth out the interactions via teasing and cheeky remarks was a blast.

Miu's part is very small, and the unwritten and unposted chapter two to this thing is meant to remedy that... At some point. But I still had fun writing her snapping at Aoi. It basically went like this:

Miu: pls pls pls get kaito off my back.

Aoi, missing the cue: idk how to do this thing you're asking me to.

Miu, alrededy furious bc Kaito is bothering her: UGH

It was a really comedic interaction to me LOL

Other things:

I got a good chuckle out of my friend pointing out how stressful living with them sounded bc of the remark of them fighting about their seat at the table LOL She said she could picture Kaito insistently sitting besides Miu and that it irked her really badly. In my mind, he'd do it because Miu is the only one from the group he's truly close to, no meaning any harm lol But Miu'd be fed up with him breathing over her neck, so...

I was pretty proud of how I wrote Aoi's uneasiness to speak on a physical level. Again, my focus on phisicality really comes in handy to show how easily she gets overwhelmed.

There's some nice emotional ambiguity with how strongly her emotions come across in the narration yet are never acknowledged nor named directly.

The tittle. Is. Really. Funny LOL I usually half-ass the tittles, so the fact it's a corny joke should be taken as a Win

[curiosity-killed]

Would love to hear your thoughts on atfots… the plot really surprised me given how the last book ended but overall it felt like a mixed bag to me

*cradles ur face tenderly in my hands* babycakes u have opened a can of worms

I'm not even going to pretend that this will be short or coherent so tl;dr: if I'm looking for a fun AU, I turn to ATFOTS; if I'm looking for canon compliant, meaningful sequels to HOTE, I turn to fanfiction.

General disclaimer that here be spoilers for ATFOTS and that while I don't intend this to be lambasting ATFOTS by any means, it's not the most positive review. So like, don't read below if you a) want to avoid spoilers or b) enjoyed the book, probably?

I think there are roughly 2 main categories of critique I have for ATFOTS, with a third just being the catchall for anything I miss and/or me yelling about the things that matter most to me lol so:

I. Sequel Sins

I am generally not a fan of sequels primarily because I think they tend to fall into a lot of similar traps such as overexplaining, inconsistent characterization, and undermining their own themes. This may be a product of growing up in love with sprawling series that all wound up basically having the same formula. ANYWAY.

Overexplaining: ATFOTS starts off by reintroducing Cliopher Mdang. My good sir. The POV character for the other doorstopper novel that came before (& which I love). I get the desire to make a sequel accessible to people who haven't read the first book but ATFOTS feels consistently like it's holding your hand very gently and bending down to make sure you're getting its full sincere eye contact and talking very slowly. I don't have a copy of the book on me to pull quotes, but it's especially flagrant in the first couple chapters.

Inconsistent characterization: WHOO BOY. Cliopher is so old! No he's young again! Now he's middle-aged! I have mixed feelings on the characterization overall—Rodin, for instance, came a bit out of left field—and most of it comes down to the way I loved the characters in HOTE and then in ATFOTS they all felt...a bit flatter and a bit caricaturized and a bit less true.

Undermining themes: The character thing comes in hard here IMO. One of the major threads of HOTE is Kip shaping his own path of success and receiving acknowledgment from his loved ones for his unique, uncommon route. And then ATFOTS comes in and is like ACTUALLY we're going to overwrite that with this GRAND and MYTHOLOGICAL story that also conveniently follows closely the story that will be familiar to your family. This isn't to say there isn't value in that type of story, but it definitely cheapens (imo) the thematic value of HOTE. And this is true for...kind of a lot of the stories' themes. ATFOTS seems to want to be "HOTE themes but bigger and better" and in doing so, kind of falls flat in delivery imo.

II. ATFOTS-Specific Pro/Con

Alright now onto a little more specific issues. This will be brief bc I think they're pretty self-explanatory lol

Con: Overall, I think ATFOTS tries to do too many things. I love a good book with many plotlines (see: erha my beloved) but ATFOTS' structure felt borderline episodic rather than building together into a satisfying reveal/culmination.

Pro: I'll get into Kip's sexuality below but do love the concept of fanoa

Con: It felt like a lot of tidbits of "oh ACTUALLY this was happening all along in HOTE I just didn't mention it"—see the comment that started this all around humming Aurora—in a way that felt less like a delightful little revelation and more like VG retroactively trying to incorporate things she hadn't decided on till that moment. Also feel this way about Ludvic's fam reveal but I'll get into that below.

Pro/Con: While I think the writing structure was a little tighter than HOTE (I'm sorry, I love Kip and I love HOTE but there were like 200 pages of having the same conversation over again) (maybe not actually 200. possibly 20. still.), girlie REALLY needed a copy edit. Like. I will copy edit ur book Ms. Goddard for u (I am cheap) but please let me fix the errors.

III. Getting My Grubby Little Gay Hands All Over this Book

aka personal preference shit that is entirely my opinion without critique for the writing quality but nonetheless are part of my critique

I love HOTE and I love HOTE principally for three four main categories: The Household (and Them), civil service, being The One Who Left, and ASEXUALITY BABEY. There are other aspects I love, of course, but these are kind of the big non-negotiables for me and four that ATFOTS kinda...did dirty imo.

In terms of the Household, HOTE gave us these middle-aged dudes who are pretty much defined and fulfilled by their dedication to their job to the exclusion of most other things. Kip has family but it's not family that really understands him most of the time and it's family that is very far away (*this will come up again). The rest of them don't have family outside of the household. They are very sincerely found/forced thru work family in a way that feels both very natural and blessedly free of nuclearization. They love each other and understand each other** in a way that none of them really have access to outside of this group.

And then ATFOTS (and admittedly RPA) comes along and is like "Ludvic has a dad! Conju's sister and boytoy are alive! Rodin has a devoted penpal!" in a way that feels a BIT like pairing off everyone so that the main couple can be together. Which like. I love Kip/Fitzroy, don't get me wrong, but I love the household and their weirdly intimate and formal and seemingly smooth as clockwork but internally messy vibe. I was so looking forward to reading about the retirement house and how that unspools (or at least thinking a lot about it in the way of the blorbo in the microwave) before ATFOTS.

So much of the heart of HOTE is the idea of community and connection (or isolation) and ATFOTS mostly veers away from that both thru the pairing off and through the things like Kip's solo adventures. It also, in some ways, sort of undermines some of the characters' core traits, such as Ludvic's devotion. Ludvic being a stout, unflinching companion for HR because he believes in him and sees the true man behind the Serenity is imo very different from Ludvic being an unflagging companion because he views HR as his uncle. Idk about y'all but family duty and personal devotion from choice are two different things in my experience.

On their own, they aren't bad but they are disappointing when compared to the aspects of HOTE I loved and would have hoped to see expanded upon in the sequel.

Kip's experience in civil service is also really important to me (literally made me more patient and cheerful at work when I was actively envisioning setting a plague of frogs loose upon my supervisor's house so like. Significant Importance to Me.)! This will not be articulate (I've legit been starting and deleting this sentence for like 5 min) bc it's very near and dear to my heart but the ideas of a) choosing to take a harder path, that is outside your community/family's conception of "normal" because you believe it is good and worthy, b) trying to improve a shitty system because you believe it can be made to better serve the people, and c) learning from both systems—are! just! very important to me okay. And not something I see a lot in fiction, but especially not in my most beloved of monstrously large fantasy novels.

And then ATFOTS is just JK time for an epic fantasy romp! and that's cool but that's not why I loved the first book! that's not the right tone at all!!! if i wanted an epic fantasy romp I would pick up Iron Widow but I wanted the bureaucracy D: (shoutout to ao3 user alfgifu for giving me the bureaucracy and also sorry for all the nonsense comments)

This is also super closely tied to Being the One Who Left tbh because well. Me. But one of the core elements of HOTE—the part that actually first snagged me and pulled my attention in—is that Kip is the one who left his community behind for no good reason to chase a weird dream instead of settling down and following the normal path to success.

*eyeing my high school classmates who are all settled down with 2.5 kids and starting photography businesses on the side while living within 20 minutes of where they grew up* Huh I Wonder Why This is Relatable

At the heart of being the one who left is this tug between guilt and desire/love/duty/curiosity/whatever pull factor. In HOTE, Kip is pushed to stay home by his duty to his community, his love of his family, and his family's own pressure. He's pulled to stay in the service by his duty to the world/government, his love of his found family, and by the urge to do more, to make things better as much as he can. In both places, he's not fully understood and when he's in either location, he misses the other. The importance is the tug, the dual identity, the sense of always being partially understood and partially misunderstood in different ways depending on the ground you're standing on. I could...very literally, write essays on each of these last items but I am trying to wrap it up bc I should actually be coding rn whoops

ATFOTS blots this out by transforming his Solaara experience into, basically, Just A Job. A job he cares about and can be proud of, sure, but just the job. It really...kind of aggressively, ignores the relationships and life Kip has made there in favor of focusing solely on this glorious return to home while conveniently giving everyone else people to be with instead of the household. which I'm sure my mom would like but ANYWAY

and now, last but decidedly not least OR clearest *drum roll pls* ASEXUALITY BABEY

okay so I will caveat this by saying different rep serves different people, there are infinitely many ways to be asexual, etc etc that all being said ATFOTS' handling of Kip's sexuality just left me a little...dissatisfied? And tbh I struggle to articulate it because I feel like it probably comes down to "this isn't the rep I would like but I can see where it's meaningful to others."

Like I can justify it—a lifelong commitment as fanoa is described is different than a romantic or sexual relationship, it's entirely fair to have a character want that commitment without risking it by mixing in romance/etc., it's good to have a devoted and platonic relationship at the core where normally a (straight) romantic/sexual relationship would be

and yet. I caught myself making faces at the book half the time when dealing with their relationship. Some of it feels a little like trying to Do All The Rep in one go—Kip's tingly fuzzy feelings and (mostly) lack of romantic attraction, neutrality around sex and aversion to sex in this relationship—in a way that almost definitely describes actual humans out in the world but feels a little...off in a fictional character? My general wish for asexual characters is getting to be in devoted relationships where the allosexual partner(s) is willing to not have sex and still be committed but I caught myself being like "y'all just fuck already" in ATFOTS which is uhhhh not the norm

tbf my ideal Kip/Fitzroy retirement relationship is basically just them (and the household) all living together and everyone on the outside kind of being ???? is it a sex thing???? while they contentedly carve out their own life yet again but this time with more touch and laughter and song.

Actually having gotten to this point, I feel like my main sticking point with ATFOTS sexuality is that Sex Is A Big Thing in the book while never being super effectively resolved imo and also not actually being a big thing to the characters in HOTE. Like one of these dudes has been celibate for 1000 years or so and another one has had like 3 brief lovers across the same amount of time. I think there are some other things we could focus on here

[torotoro0]

Enemies? Or....

`~Miles Fairchild x Reader~` {Part 4/?}

{Click for Chapters}

A/N : I woke up and my tumbler notifications were just bombarding with likes and comments wow thanks guys, I accidentally mixed up the timelines lol please understand, hope u enjoy part 4 😍

Miles Pov

I was in the room listening to music while contemplating my life choices when Kate entered, WITHOUT my permission.

"Hi" Kate went in uninvited "I, uhm, got you something from town" she approaches me "I-.. its a new CD they released this year" she puts it on the table.

"thanks.." I murmured, what the heck does she want from me now?, I roll my eyes.

A few moment of silence

"So.. I know how close you and Quint were.." she started.

"Yeah.. he was my friend" I stated looking out the window "And also Y/N's" I look back at her.

"Yeah" she nods "It must have been really tough". My hand wrapped around the chair tightened.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she slightly smiles, slowly approaching me.

A few moments of another silence

"Not really" I said as i stand up, I approach my drums, and of course Kate followed me. Why can't she just talk about this with Y/N?

At least Y/N minds her own business (minds her business a little bit, but she still messes with my business🙄)

"You know something kinda similar happened to me when I was your age and I wish I had someone to talk to-"

!BA-DUM, BA-DUM!

"[sighs] ok, ok" she whispers, "Look I'm not trying to replace Quin-"

!BA-DUM, BA-DUM!

She sighs, oh how fun it is to joke around her lol.

!BA-DUM, BA-DUM!

"Just stop-"

!BA-DUM, BA-DUM!

"Miles?!" she scolded "Can you please stop-" I continue my drum beating until she approaches the door.

I kept beating the drums in annoyance, then it turned into anger, After she left I still kept beating the drums. "I hate this, I hate this, I hate this" I whisper-shouted.

!KNOCK KNOCK!

"Stop making so much noise FAIRCHILD!" Y/N shouted from the room beside me....

But I still kept going and going with the drums.

I hear a door opening and footsteps approaching my room. I turn to my left to see the infamous Y/N L/N.

"Why are you making such ruckus Fairchild? You are so damn annoying" she scolded, I roll my eyes.

"Its a way of me relieving my stress L/N" I lean unto my back.

"Well your way-of-relieving-stress-thing is making me go nuts so STOP IT".

Even if my face on the outside looks monotone I was laughing my ass out on the inside.

"What if I won't?" I teased

"Then...then- I'll call your beloved Neah here" She smirks. Oh no not that witch!.

"Call her then" I provoked her , As much as I hate Neah, Y/N hates her too, so basically its a loss for the both of us.

"Ok then" she grabs the telephone in my room.

"Hello?" she answers "OH! Neah its been a long, long time! how are you!" wait.... she really did call her?! I ran to her at a max speed snatching the phone "her-"

"Do NOT come here!" I yelled at the phone.

a few seconds later

After a few seconds I hear snickers and muffled laughs from Y/N "why are laughing?" I look at her.

"pfft, hah, hah" she hyperventilates "You really think I called her! HAHAHA!" I eye her as I began to realize what she just did.

"The heck is your problem Y/N!" I retorted "Nothing, its just- YOUR FACE WHEN YOU THOUGHT I CALLED HER! HAHAHA" I roll my eyes as she wipes a tear from her eye.

"Get out L/N" She laughs uncontrollably, I hold her wrists and lead her out of the room.

{time skip to evening}

.

.

Your Pov

I was reading a book (or not, just imagine your doing something else) when Flora barged in the room excitedly fidgeting "Y/N! Y/N! Do you wanna come with me?" she beams.

"Where though?" I replied.

Before... I would always agree to her without asking anything and she brings me to super creepy places where I get stuck in.

"To the pool! let's play a prank on Kate!" phew, at least she answered and explained what we were doing.

"Sure that sounds fun!" I jump down on my bed with my night clothes on. (any pajamas, your choice!~).

{A little later}

We arrive at the pool to see the one and only Miles Fairchild. "Miles were hereee!" Flora yelled as she hugged Miles.

"I thought it was only me and flora, but here we are with a group of three" I roll my eyes as i stated.

"I didn't agree to you coming, L/N, but since I can't say no to flora, You got in" He crosses his arms in annoyance.

"So? whats the prank going to be?" I ask.

{Miles and flora explaining the prank to you}

"Ahh, ok I get it" I nod.

"Don't make any noise, you got that L/N?" he whispered and I nod.

"AHHHHH!" Flora screamed to start the prank.

A little later we saw Kate running to the pool and jumped in it.

"pfft" I quietly giggled "Quiet" Miles whispered as he covers my mouth.

"don't" I whisper as I remove his hand from my mouth then glare at him. "just keep your mouth shut L/N" he whispers back.

Kate arises from the water super drenched and scared.

"hahahaha" Flora laughed as she reveals our hiding spot.

"We got you, we got you, we got you" she sings.

"You look super cold there Kate" I chuckle.

"Pfft" Miles follows us laughing.

.

.

After a moment Kate look at us frowning and our smiles drop.

"Three of you... in the house... NOW!" She yelled.

Miles shrugs as him and flora head inside.

"Were sorry Kate, We thought it would be funny" I apologize.

"Get in there NOW" she looked at me fiercely.

{After all the commotion🤭}

I wanted to properly apologize to Kate tonight so I stride to Kate's room.

Her light was on so I presume she was still awake.

I enter her room with her lying down, I went to her side and looked at her.

The door creaks and I saw Miles there.

"What are you doing here" he whispers.

"I want to ask you the same question too" I replied.

{An awkward silence}

He goes beside me and touches Kate's cheeks but I stop him mid-way

"Creep, what the heck are you doing?" I mutter

"Trying to wake her up duh" he replied "Well, Its a creepy, disgustingly way of waking someone up" I roll my eyes.

"Well what your best way to wake her up huh?" He looks at me.

"W-what are you guys doing in here?" Kate looks at us like she saw a ghost,

"Y-you have a spider on your cheek" I alarmingly said, stupid, stupid Y/N, I mentally head slap.

"Here" Miles shows Kate his hand with a spider and crushes it, "The heck?" I mumbled.

"When the door is closed I'd like you guys to knock" She breaths.

"Your light was on, I thought you'd be awake" I answer.

"Scared of the dark?" Miles asked.

{ few moments of silence}

I sit down on her bed while miles looks at me confused.

"Sorry about awhile ago" I muttered, I just know! she is looking at me right now.

"I-, um me too" Miles chimed in

".... We haven't made the best impression have we?" He continued.

"To be honest ... you haven't" she slowly replied

"Miles?" she looks up at him, "what happened at school?", [Le Gasp] hihihi, I thought.

"Why did you hit that boy?" I smirk looking up at him, "Yeah miles why did you hit him?". I secretly giggled.

"You knew about this Y/N?" she looks at me with wide eyes.

"Yeah... sorry" I mumbled.

"He... burnt all my pictures my dad sent me" he looked sad.

"oh.." I went speechless.

{Le silence....}

.

.

"Good night" We both said in unison. "Come on Y/N" he went outside and called for me.

A/N: were in chapter 4!?

[aethslove]

Summer Road Trip! (part 1/???)

(A/N: i project onto y/n oops, modern au???, this was a wip for like 5 months, also I can't write romance so this is all platonic lmaooooo, written while vibing to this playlist:)

Genre| Fluff, Crack

Characters| basically everyone in genshin excluding npcs, gender-neutral y/n

Pairings| platonic!Genshin Impact x reader, implied jean gunnhildr x lisa minci

Warnings| mentions of alcohol, diluc is a grumpy ass as always lol, curses, all in lowercase???, all of ajax's names are used cause why not haha-

POV| third person

"all packed?"

"yes, jean,"

"gas tank filled?"

"yes, jean,"

"all the portable chargers are charged?"

"yes, jean,"

"is there wine in there?"

"no venti,"

"sleeping bags and blankets just in case we get into traffic and-"

"YES MOM WE GET IT, WE HAVE LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE!" y/n yelled in exasperation after jean had gone over this list at least fifty times in the past thirty minutes.

jean paced around the room, holding her head in her hands.

"I'm just worried, you know anything can happen y/n-"

"relax darling, i'm sure we have everything covered." lisa said, patting jean's shoulder.

"yeah, don't worry jean it's all fi-KLEE DO NOT BLOW UP OUR BUS I WILL CONFISCATE YOUR BOMBS." y/n screeched as they ran after the tiny arsonist heading towards the incredibly customized bus being packed by diluc.

lisa sighed softly in exasperation.

---

"y/n, where is mona's luggage?" diluc asked while peering at the trunk"i've looked through the entire car at least five times."

"MISTER DILUC! MISTER DILUC!" mona exclaimed while running wildly toward the duo.

"here, my luggage for the trip." mona panted out, leaning on her knees for support while holding up a large purple...backpack?

"mona, we're going to be out for 2 weeks."

"this is all the clean clothes i can muster y/n..."

"very well," diluc sighed while taking the bag and placing it inside the trunk.

"off we go then! diluc get everyone, tell them we're leaving them behind if they're not here in fifteen tops. also remind ajax to bring the snacks." y/n ordered diluc.

in no time, everyone found a comfortable position in the large bus diluc had bought to accommodate about...forty people?

'how on earth is this possible?...' y/n thought while getting into the passenger seat and already fiddling with the radio dial.

this was a mistake.

"play my chemical romance."

"play twenty-one-century pilots!"

"PLAY TAYLOR SWIFT!"

"can you play coldplay?"

"NO. we're listening to k-pop. that's it. no argument." y/n insisted despite the suggestions.

---

"SMOOTH LIKE BUTTER-"

---

"CH-CH-CH-CH-CHEWING GUM-"

---

"I CAN'T STOP ME CAN'T STOP ME ooOhooOh"

---

"HIT YOU WITH THAT DDU-DU DDU-DU DU-"

---

"YOU CAN'T STOP ME LOVIN MYSELF OH OH OoooOOH OH OH OooOHoooOOH-"

---

"URIN SEUKEITEUBODEU WIRO

MACHI CHUMEUL CHUDEUT BAREUL GULLEO

BARAM GEU SAIREUL GAROJILLEO

YEOGIJEOEOGI MEOLLI AJUAJU MEO-"

"that's enough," diluc said from the driver's seat as he paused the music playing on full blast from the speakers (After School by Weeekly) "i'm going to get into a car crash at this rate."

"don't be such a debbie downer," childe whined while slumping in his seat.

the others nodded in agreement. After School was a vibe.

after a moment of silent annoyance towards diluc, kaeya piped up.

"well, tartaglia bought snacks! i'm hungry, aren't you guys?"

"YAY! DID YOU BRING MY DINO NUGGIES UNCLE AJAX? DID YOU, DID Y-"

"yes, i did klee! i'll give it to you in a second...is anyone else craving something?"

"me and aether want sandwiches," lumine called from the back, answering for her brother who was reading a book quietly in a corner.

"HAND OVER DILUC'S BEEF JERKY IM EATING IT." y/n yelled from the passenger's seat.

"no"

"well fuck you diluc, im eating it. this is what you get for having a driver's license" y/n said while popping pieces of jerky in their mouth.

"..."

"y/n, you have a driver's licens-"

"with all due respect, which is a lot, I barely passed my driving test albedo. do you really want me driving a bus with around forty people in it for five to seven hours?"

"...no"

"exactly."

---

Does this deserve a pt. 2?

(January 7th, 2022)

[crucifixinhell]

Oooh I just checked out the description for the Sandman Slim series. It sounds hella fun! xD Could you tell us more? Please feel free to monologue ;)

OKAY

SO

Everyone be grateful for the new long post feature. I personally am very grateful for this very lovely anon who gave me an excuse to monologue at great length.

The reason this took me so long to answer is because I ended up rereading the first book (and most of the second) in the process... (I've lost count of rereads lol)

Reasons I love Sandman Slim:

1. It's this glorious mishmash of genres. I'd loosely categorize the first book as a spaghetti western revenge story set in an LA urban fantasy with angels and demons and a decent chunk of horror. (I love the world building. Some of the Christian theology was inspired by string theory.)

2. The narration isn't my usual style, but it's pretty fun in a lot of ways, because Stark (narrator/main character) is very direct. So his POV is easy to read. There's very few adverbs and a lot of the dialogue has minimal tags. (I'm pretty sure this is because Stark doesn't really have much emotional awareness. But.) Also, Stark's sense of humor is basically mine. Even if I don't get a lot of his references because he really likes obscure movies.

4. Stark is an asshole. Holy shit, he's an asshole. He's a very flawed person. Richard Kadrey (author) describes the series as "a monster learning how to be human" for a reason. Stark comes out of Hell and doesn't know how to not be an asshole. (He wasn't great at it before Hell, but he was also 19, so.) He mostly tries to do the right thing for the people he cares about, but he's incredibly terrible at it. This will make you want to yell at him, but also, if you like a proper antihero? This is a proper antihero. In Hell, they call him the monster who kills monsters. (A defining quote from very early on: "I hate cops and I fucking hate goody-goody hero types, but there is some shit I will not put up with if it happens in front of me.")

5. Stark has a huge case of PTSD (and probably some other stuff, but I don't think that ever gets diagnosed in-world) and it affects every aspect of his life. It affects how he looks at things, how he acts, and how he thinks in ways he doesn't even notice. So... like how PTSD/mental illness actually affects people. Which is so incredibly refreshing to read. And it's well-done/realistic, imo.

Stark has PTSD and is a dick about it for a long time. He refuses to acknowledge his time in Hell was an issue. He has some of the worst coping mechanisms on the planet and they hurt himself and the people around him until he starts accepting help. (Monster learning how to be human!) He can't reconcile who he used to be with who he is after Hell. He's suicidal and/or engaging in self-harming behaviors for large portions of the series. But he gets better.

7. It takes (I think) nine books to explicitly get there, but Stark is queer and he dates a non-binary person. I say explicitly because a) he more or less talks about all genders in the same way, even if he's usually only involved with women, and b) he describes Lucifer as a bad-decision fuck in the second book. I had my suspicions. Also, there's a couple poly relationships throughout. So that's cool. There's never a whole lot of identity conversation because the world is always ending. I love representation that is just. There.

9. They're just... entertaining books with fun characters. There's a zombie-killing Czech porn star. There's a bartender who reacts to a charred-up, scarred-up stranger talking about murder by saying that the potential dead people probably deserve it (Carlos is awesome). There's an angel working for Homeland Security. There's an immortal French alchemist stubbornly refusing to lose his accent. There's an excommunicated sin-eating priest whose sins get eaten in a ritual involving Johnny Cash. I love them all.

[ultimate-distaster-material]

-Saiou Oneshots- Despair Disease P3

!TW! Implied Panic Attacks Implied Anorexia Mentions Blood I think that's all lol

KOKICHI POV

"Good morning, Oma-Kun! Did you sleep well? I heard from Kiibo that you were asleep for two days..."

Ah, Akamatsu. She was always positive, no matter what the circumstances. It made me insanely jealous...

"I slept really well, nishishi! Hey, are you willing to do a favor for your favorite supreme leader?"

Akamatsu nodded with a small smile. My lips curved upwards.

"Ok then, peasant! Carry your precious leader to the hall, my legs feel like jelly and I'm too tired to walk!"

Akamatsu-San didn't notice the truth I told, carefully picking me up and running swiftly to the hall. She felt as if this was too easy...

"Oma-Kun, you're very light..."

My eyes widened in shock. I can't even fake my expressions.... With a sigh, I wiggled a bit in her arms, adjusting myself to feel more comfortable.

"Don't overthink it, Akamatsu! I'm small after all!"

She answered with silence, her expression flooded with a wave of concern, and she reluctantly nodded her head.

"You do look very sick, Oma-Kun..."

"Nishishi! Don't worry!"

I tried to word my response in a way that wouldn't expose my truth disease yet told her I was completely fine. Which, by the way, I wasn't. The dining hall doors swung open with a loud thud as Akamatsu and I arrived, the pianist immediately running to the detective, assassin, and inventor.

"Iruma-San! Harukawa-San! Saihara-Kun! Hello! I hope you don't mind that I brought Oma-Kun with me. He asked me to carry him to the dining hall!"

Maki scowled, grabbing one of her pigtails and squeezing them to release her anger. Iruma just had a cocky smirk plastered on her face. I shot her a 'don't even think about sexual shit' glare and she cowered, pressing her legs together. Yuck! Saihara-Kun just had an adorable curious look on his face, a finger to his chin.

"He didn't hurt you or threaten him, did he? If he did, I will fucking kill that asshole!"

"Harukawa-San, please calm down! He did nothing! It's okay!"

Harukawa shot me a glare, then left me alone to talk to Kaede. I wiggled out of the pianist's grasp while she was distracted and stood in front of Shuichi. He looked really tall like this!

"Saihara-Chan, I hate admitting that I, the mighty supreme leader, am short! However, I just had to point out how selfish you are!"

The detective snapped out of his thinking trance with a squeak, peering down at me.

"Oma-Kun...? You look sick, are you okay? Also, what does being short have to do with me being selfish...?"

I smirked, at least I could still tease in this state.

"It's because you're so tall! You could've at least donated some height to me... Also, supreme leaders can't get sick! I'm not fine, nishishi!"

Fuck. Saihara chuckled before looking down at me with a serious expression, his hand coming to press against my cheek. Holy shit holy shitttttt HOLY SHIT HE'S CARESSING MY CHEEK ETWYEUJEHTSGHRT35QVWGDSFJK!!!

"...ma-Kun... Oma-Kun!"

I shook my head, feeling his hand stay put on my cheek. My appearance was basically just my face painted red as if my parents were a strawberry and a tomato.

"Ha! Cockichi is blushing! That little twink is probably thinking about sucking Saihara's d- "

"Iruma-San... Please don't be... Dirty..."

Saihara mumbled, his face turning a bit red. Facing back to me, he let his free hand press against my burning forehead. This hand was removed as quickly as it was placed.

"Oma-Kun! Your forehead is burning! It was as if my hand was pressing against burning metal! You should go see Kiibo-Kun! I'm sure he can check if you have the disease or not! This disease seems pretty bad from what I've heard... I hope I don't get it!"

How do I tell him... I smirked and lifted my hands behind my head, doing my iconic pose, also ignoring the fact that Saihara yelled that out, so everyone heard it.

"Don't worry Sai-Chan! I'm not fine!"

.

.

I hate myself. The stupid disease is fucking ruining my whole act! Everyone is going to find out how I really feel... My whole plan will be ruined... I'll be so vulnerable...

"I knew it! The little shit is trying to give us all that disgusting disease! Speaking of disease, he is a fucking disease even without his sickness! Someone grab Kiibo for fucks sake!"

Nobody moved. Tears pricked my eyes from the insult Maki used. No no no no! I can't cry here! I can't exactly lie my way out of the situation either...

"Maki-Roll! I know he's a shithead and all, but you don't have to be so mean! He's still one of us. Plus, what if the little dude is just unwell? He might not even have the disease! Don't worry little man, you're not a disease!"

Momota heroically boomed his speech, ruffling my hair as he reassured me. Even if he was an idiot, and even if I did want to slap him on the back of his head, he actually made me feel supported. I couldn't help but let a warm smile coat my face, my blush returning a bit since Saihara just moved his hand to caress my face again.

"Whatever, I'm leaving. Don't blame me if any of you get sick and die. He's evil, never trust a liar."

The only sound heard was the sound of Maki's shoes clacking against the tiles as she exited the dining room. (Or as she did that ballerina twirl thing and evaporated.)

"This is such a pain... Nyeh... I want to go back to bed..."

Himiko complained, tiredly leaning against Yonaga as Chabashira pulled her off the artist. They were such lesbians, I swear...

"Let's go Himiko! We don't want to get infected if this degenerate has a disease! I was already in close contact with Saihara-Kun when he got his disease, so let's isolate!"

Himiko didn't even listen, just nodding tiredly as Tenko dragged her around. A happy artist followed them like a loyal dog, despite Tenko's warnings to stay away from 'her beautiful mage'. Saihara-Kun just looked confused.

"Disease...? I haven't gotten any disease, have I...?"

If only he knew. I'm just glad he is better now, but I do hate the fact that he forgot all our actions together when we were sick. Our friendship basically got set back a level...

"Gonta and Kaito can tell you after! Gonta needs to make sure Kokichi is okay! Gonta doesn't want friend to be sick!"

Friend...

"So, Kokichi... Are you sure you don't have the disease...? Ah, humans are so interesting... The way they act to different diseases makes my heart- "

"Ok, let's go back to the dorms, Shinguji-Kun! We can read a bit, does that sound good?"

Amami interrupted, cutting off the anthropologist's crazy speech. In times like these, I'm glad Amami-Kun is still alive... Ryoma and Iruma walked up to the pair.

"Oi, shrimp dicks! Can we tag along with ya? This gorgeous genius is bored as fuck!"

Ryoma just stayed silent, Miu already speaking his request for him. Korekiyo simply nodded and the four of them marched off together, chatting about random things as they traveled to Amami's dorm. The rest of us just stood there in awkward silence, the occasional whispering among us. The silence was so loud...

"So... Oma-Kun. I think being sick in a killing game, especially after a sickness motive is very suspicious. Am I correct to assume that you would prefer not to let people know about your disease?"

Kirumi, you didn't have to say that in front of everyone... Dammit. My foot tapped against the floor, my mind thinking of something to say. I don't trust myself to speak anymore... Ringing sounded in my ears loudly, disappearing after a few seconds. My lips turning into a thin line, I nodded. Inside my mouth, my teeth were digging into my tongue, drawing small spots of blood. This was my attempt at keeping my damn mouth shut.

"O-Oh, Oma-Kun! You shouldn't be here! We do care for you, but you are risking everyone's health... We should get you back to Kiibo, d-don't you think?"

Akamatsu stuttered and cried in fear, clasping a hand over her mouth and nose as if it was a makeshift mask.

"Wait a minute. I want to know what disease he has. Hey, Monokuma! Get your ass over here!"

Kaito yelled, still showing that heroic persona... I wish I had my persona... That stupid bear popped up in thin air, holding a curious paw to his mouth.

"My, my! Kokichi Ouma, ultimate truth teller, shouldn't you be with Kiibo? Or are you living up to your evil talent and trying to infect everyone here? How interesting..."

"Shut the fuck up Monokuma! Nobody likes you! You don't have to reveal everything to everyone like that..."

I shouted, my hands clasping tightly around the bottom of my shirt, sweat soaking into the white fabric.

"Well, I guess that solves everything... Oma, buddy! Am I allowed to ask ya some things?"

Please just shut up Kaito... I lie for a reason...

"I... Don't want you to..."

The astronaut nodded in understanding, a hand combing through his hair as he smiled at me.

"All good little bro! But I really want to know, why were you knocked out for two days?"

"Blood loss."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, man. I hope you get better!"

He gave me a strong slap to the back in reassurance, almost knocking me over from how dizzy I was getting. Sadly, everyone saw the situation as a free pass to ask me sensitive questions about sensitive topics, such as a 'Why do you lie?' from Akamatsu and 'Gonta want to know why Kokichi is acting so evil sometimes!' from a Gokuhara who didn't realize he was invading personal matters. My hands shakily reached up to my ears, harshly gripping them to block out all the overwhelming questions. Tears threatened to spill from the corner of my eyes. It felt as if my lungs were pressing in on themselves, it was progressively getting harder to breathe. I could hear Momota attempting to get everyone to stop, yet nobody listened. I fell to the floor, my thoughts fogged and my body shaking, ears ringing noisily, and sweat dripping like a broken faucet.

"Hey, Oma-Kun? I can see you're overwhelmed. Do you want Saihara-Kun to take you back to Kiibo? I'm sure my brother won't mind!"

Tsumugi silenced everyone. Saihara jolted out of his daze in shock, letting out a squeak. Tsumugi just smiled politely at her brother. I still struggle trying to find out how the hell these two are twins. Shirogane doesn't even have an ahoge...

"Gah! Why me? What if I get the disease!?"

"It's hard to explain... Basically, you're immune after, uhm, what happened..."

Tsumugi explained, confusing all of us. How the hell did she know that?

"Hold on a second, Shirogane-San. How do you know this information?"

Kirumi held a thinking finger to her chin. That's what I was wondering... Shirogane clapped her hands together, walking over to Saihara.

"Oh, I asked Monokuma to put some information on the monopads!"

Ohhhh... That makes sense. Akamatsu walked over to Tojo, just so she wasn't alone anymore, since her 'girlfriend' had left. I'm so glad Iruma isn't here right now...

"That's right! Tsumugi did you all a favor!"

I resisted the urge to step on that dumb bear, making a great effort to stand still and not harm the headmaster in any way, no matter how tempting it was...

"Oh, thank you, sis. But if you guys want, I can take Oma-Kun back, since I am somehow immune. Do I return him to Kiibo in his dorm?"

Kaito nodded and grasped his shoulder after giving him a rough pat on the back, similar to what he did to me.

"Just take him to Kiibs! I believe in ya, sidekick! Everything will be fine! Go get 'em!"

Saihara sighed with a small smile and strolled over to me, picking me up with surprising strength. He waved to everyone, and then left the dining hall, making small talk with me along the way.

"So, Oma-Kun..."

"What is it, Saihara-Chan? I'm super tiredddd..."

"Do you hear that noise? I could hear it from the dining hall and it's still going."

I tried to listen; my ears were blocked and ringing, and I could only hear things a short distance away from me. I lazily shook my head in a sideways motion, causing Shuichi to let out a hum. His hand climbed up my body to my head, gently combing through my purple, silky hair in calming movements.

"Wait... It sounds like... Kiibo...?"

"Kiibo... What? I'm tired, can we please hurry...."

"Sorry Koko."

Shuichi walked slightly faster. Nuzzling into his chest, my eyes fluttered closed, the rocking from the detective's steps lulling me asleep. I faintly registered the fact that Saihara took a wrong turn. Wasn't the robot's room to the left up the stairs...? Was Detective-Chan trying to do something with little old me while I'm in this condition?

"Mister Detective, Robot-Chan's room is to the left..."

I announced groggily, just wanting something cold to cool down my overheating body, and to be laying on a soft bed... Saihara was almost equivalent to a bed's comfort, yet his body heat was making my body feel like it had been set on fire.

"I know."

Was Saihara-Chan secretly a weirdo? I doubt it... He was acting very suspicious though. He opened the door to his room, and I widened my eyes at the surprising sight. Papers were flooding the room, most scrunched up, coffee cups littered the floors, and he had a whole drawer of makeup kits and such.

"Saihara-Chan! I didn't take you for a messy person!"

I wearily commented, grabbing at his face to cling to the back of his head. During the process, I wiped below his eye, and a pale layer of powder with barely noticeable glitter were smudged on my thumb. Looking back up at him, his eyes had deep, black eyebags, as if he didn't sleep for a week.

"Hehe, aren't you quite quick at figuring stuff out, huh? Nothing less expected from the ultimate supreme leader!"

He chuckled, resting me onto the bed and snatching more makeup from the drawer to repair the smudge I caused with my finger.

"No, no! Shumai, come rest with meeee! You're obviously tired, and I care about you! We could both use some sleep..."

I offered, rubbing my eyes sleepily with a yawn interrupting my sentence. All I got in response was a small sigh. Shumai just glanced at me, before drowsily dropping the makeup without a care.

"O-Oh, okay... Let me just get you a wet towel for your head at least..."

His hidden exhaustion was finally taking off its disguise. Shumai almost sleepwalked to steal a wet cloth from the bathroom, practically tripping over nothing every 10 seconds, yet regaining himself quickly. How did he manage to hide this much sleepiness??? My eyes flickered closed, and I was greeted with the relaxing darkness of shut eyelids. Shuichi carefully positioned the cloth comfortably on my forehead, the cool sensation soothing my irritated skin. As I faded into a world of dreams and blackness, the detective wrapped his arms around my body, gentle snores echoing throughout the room as his eyes drooped closed. Both of us passed out as if someone had pressed a power off button, and together, we entered a dreamy state of pleasureful sleep. Maybe having this disease isn't so bad after all...

BONUS SCENE 

"Oma-Kun? Oma-Kun!"

The robot yelled, searching every nook and cranny for the sick supreme leader. Where could he be? The robot had no clue, frantically searching everywhere far and wide. He sighed in defeat and looked at the ground, watching his feet move rhythmically. No! I cannot give up here! Kiibo reassured himself, gathering his motivation and determination again. He walked forward a few meters, still looking down, just like Shuichi probably did with that hat. He was observing the ground as if it were the most interesting thing ever, when he collided with something; Gokuhara.

"Ah! Gonta is sorry, Kiibo! Gonta see Kiibo looking for something, can Gonta help you?"

Kiibo nodded, gazing up from the ground and smiling at the gentle giant.

"I'm searching for Oma-Kun, I went to get him a glass of fresh water, and when I returned, he was nowhere to be seen!"

Gonta's lips formed an 'o' shape, glancing from side to side randomly.

"Gonta see Kokichi in dining hall earlier! Talking about disease!"

"Oma was in the dining hall!? Oh my... Where shall I put this glass off water, I'm tired of carrying it..."

Gonta's pupils transformed into childish sparkles, similar to Kokichi's when he was excited about something.

"Gonta can carry it! So Kiibo doesn't die to water! Robots cannot touch water, or they will malfunction and break! Gonta care for all robots, especially Kiibo. Let me hold the glass of water, Kiibo's metal hands look very slippery and not grippy..."

Gonta carefully took the glass of clean water from the robot, making a quiet comment about how it reminded him of water bugs.

"Gah! Gokuhara-Kun, I never knew you could be so much like Oma! The robophobia...!"

Word Count: 2863

[newtsies]

When I Was Your Man || A Ralbert One Shot

a/n - hello! so basically this one shot is a College Newsies AU where Racetrack and Albert broke up and Race started dating Spot :'). it's about ralbert though?? so it's like- okay its from alberts POV and it's based on When I Was Your Man so yeah :D (all lyrics from the song will be in bold and italicized),, i'll only be writing the chorus once <3

also i didnt edit this cuz its late and IM TIRED SO sorry if it sucks lol

tw('s) - cussing

same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Albert didn't sleep well at night, if he even slept at all. His bed was empty. The same bed that he had slept in since the beginning of college. But it wasn't his bed, it was their bed. At least, it used to be theirs. Now, it was just his, but he couldn't accept that it was only his.

But at one point, it was theirs. Him and Racetrack, it was once their bed. Even if it was only his, Albert could swear that Race's body was still outlined in the cushion of his bed.

The bed used to be so small, too small for the two of them. They cuddled together to keep each other from falling off. But now it was huge. He had no-one to roll over to in the morning, he was alone.

He couldn't even sleep on the right side of the bed. That was Race's side. Even if Race hadn't slept on the bed for a long time, even if he would never sleep on the bed again. That was his side, not Alberts.

And often times he would lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. He would reach over to the right for his boyfriends- ex-boyfriends hand. But it wasn't there. He reached over and was met with sheets and pillows.

So he didn't sleep, because he had no-one to sleep with and his bed was too big to sleep in. And he stayed awake until the next morning when he got into his car and drove from his apartment to the school.

Not even in his car did he get peace. It wasn't his car, it was Race's car. Race had picked it out, he liked the color. And it smelled like Race's cologne and it held memories of Race in each dent of the leather seats.

So he sold the car. He got a new car, his own car. But even with the smell of Race gone, with his memories in the seats gone. The radio in the new car betrayed Albert.

our song on the radio but it don't sound the same

The car radio had one station, and Albert could swear that the station only had one playlist they played each day. Because every day, and it never missed one day, it would play their song. The song they first danced to. So Albert turned off the radio, and he never turned it on. Even when friends begged him to play music, the radio staid off and he played music from his quiet phone.

Every day, Albert showed up to school exhausted. He nearly passed out in class. Lunch was the only time he ever slept. Everyone assumed he didn't get sleep due to his hard classes, which couldn't be farther from the truth. He didn't do his work. He couldn't pay attention in class, not with Race there.

when our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down

"You really lucked out being with him, Al," Jack said.

Romeo agreed and added onto the comment, "Kelly's right. He's gorgeous. And a genius too. Too smart for his own good."

Albert raised his head from his arms with a desperately sad look. He sighed and shook his head, "I told you guys. I know we broke up a while ago, but it still hurts, okay?" He rested his head back into his arms and closed his eyes tightly. His heart ached with every comment. He knew Race was gorgeous. He knew Race was a genius. He knew so much about him, yet he didn't know him enough to keep him happy.

"Sorry, man. Forgot," Jack mumbled. Romeo muttered something of an apology and scratched at his neck.

"I know you hate school activities," Romeo started, "But you should come to the party tonight. Dance a little, I think it'll cheer you up."

Albert sighed and tried not to think about why dancing would be hard for him. He looked up and pushed his hair out of his face, "I'll come."

'cause my heart breaks a little when i hear your name

"Race!" Spot called from the couch. The music boomed and Spots voice was quiet, but Albert heard the name anyways. He immediately turned to the boy.

Spot grinned as Race made his way over to him. Race plopped into his lap and smiled back as he hugged the boy. Alberts eyes widened and his chest ached.

Even just hearing Race's name hurt Albert, brought back a wave of memories. Each yell of Race's name when he did something dumb, each fond laugh of the name when he complimented him, each whine of Racetrack's name when he bugged Albert too much. He missed it all.

it all just sounds like ooh, ooh, hoo

Jack and Romeo were definitely talking to Albert, but he couldn't hear anything they were saying. The music sounded like gibberish and he couldn't think. All he could do was stare at the couple on the couch and ache at the sight.

mm, too young, too dumb to realize, that i should have bought you flowers

Albert watched as Race giggled at the flower Spot offered him. Spot smiled and put the small yellow flower behind Race's ear. The stem stuck between his ear and his head whilst the bud pointed outwards.

The years that they dated, Albert and Race were young and naive. He didn't know how to be romantic or how to make Race happy. No matter how hard he tried.

"I should've bought him flowers," He sighed. Jack and Romeo shared a knowing glance before pushing Albert to sit down on the couch.

and held your hand

"I mean," Albert continued, "I was too insecure to do anything with him." They didn't even hold hands in public, because Albert was scared. Scared of what society would think.

should have gave you all my hours, when i had the chance

Albert and Race had started dating their first year of college. Albert was constantly busy with classes. He was always doing work and stressing about class.

Anytime Race would make an attempt to spend time with him, he shut it down.

"I'm doing work," He would say, "You should be doing work, too."

He wanted to do well, get a good job, find a good home, start a family. But all of that was dumb. It was pointless. To hell with it all if we didn't get to come back from his job to see Race. Because Race was his home and he didn't want to start a family with anyone else.

take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance

"Al!" Race would whine and grab at his arm, "Dance with me, please. Just for a little bit."

Albert never did dance with him. No matter how much he asked, he refused to do so. He couldn't, he needed to get good grades. He needed to provide.

"We can dance later," He would say.

The usual response he would get was, "Promise?" But one day, he received a different answer, "There isn't going to be a later. Not for us, Albert."

now my baby's dancing, but he's dancing with another man

Race pulled Spot up from the couch. They smiled as they moved together to the middle of the room. The music vibrated around them as the two danced.

Albert watched from the camp as he shook his leg. He took in a deep and quaking breath before stumbling out of the house. He threw his cup to the side and gulped in a large breath.

my pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways, caused a good strong man like you to walk out my life

"What do you mean their won't be a later for us, Racer?" Albert had asked, finally looking up from his studies.

Race had scoffed, "Oh, of course! That's what gets you to look me in the eye, huh?" He had rolled his eyes, "We're done, Al. I can't do this anymore, can't do us. Okay? You're so god damn selfish. You only do what's best for you. Ever think about what's best for us, huh? Do you ever even think about me?"

"Of course I think about you, Race. You're all I ever think about," Al had stuttered out.

"Sure," Race had laughed sourly, "I just wanted to fucking dance, Albert. You wouldn't even do that with me. I'm leaving." With that, Race had grabbed all of his stuff and walked out of the apartment.

now i never, never get to clean up the mess i made, oh. and that haunts me every time i close my eyes

Albert closed his eyes when he left the house. Their breakup flashed behind his eyelids and he choked out a sob. He fell to his knees on the grass.

"God damnit," He weakly hit the grass beneath him, "I could've fixed it. I could- Could've. But- Spot. I can't fix it anymore."

although it hurts, i'll be the first to say that i was wrong

He shook his head, "Race was right. I never thought about him." And his stomach twisted with that realization.

Albert has thought he was thinking about Race, about their future together. But it was never about Race, it was about him. He needed to good grades, Racer didn't. Everything that happened was his fault, and he knew that.

oh, i know i'm probably much too late, to try and apologize for my mistakes

He took a deep breath before falling back to sit down on the grass. The door opened and a boy with curly blonde hair sat down next to him.

Race gave Albert a sad smile.

"I'm not going to say sorry," Albert started, "Because that won't make up for anything. I was wrong, about everything." Race nodded.

"Al," Race said quietly.

Albert shook his head with a small grin, "Don't. Go get, Spot. Be happy. Go love the boy who you want to see when you get home from long work days, okay? Love him the way I love you." He paused, "Not the way I treated you, but the way I feel about you. I know it didn't seem like it. But I love you."

Race smiled and gave Albert a pat on the cheek, "I loved you too."

That was the sad tragedy of their relationship.

Albert was in love with Race. Race had been in love with Albert.

They loved each other at different times. But Albert could accept the pain of being in love with a boy would didn't love him back, because even though Race was in love with someone else, he was happy. And that's all Albert wanted, because Race deserved to be happy.

[avungerthatgotaway]

"Sometimes the best we can do is to start over"

Hey guys! I'm back with new fanfic. It's about Steve Peggy and teen!reader again. Hope you like it xx

Warnings: none, it's sad tho idk if that's a warning

Pairings: mention of Steve x Peggy

Summary: Nick Fury gives you a task to listen to someone's private conversation while in school (with earbugs). Turns out it's something no one had a right to hear.

It's Civil war era, but I'll ignore the plot.

I don't own anything, but part of the plot of this fic lol

And as always, I'll give a song recommendation.

-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-

"So Y/N basically want you have to do is listen to the conversation on earbugs, and remember what people talk about." Nick said to me. I was confused to why does it matter so much, he didn't even tell me who's conversation I'm listening to. I had to go to school, but he claimed it's important.

"But who am I gonna listen to and what is it about Nick?"

"Classified. As to what is it about, I expect you to find out."

I rolled my eyes at him, this was getting very stupid, really fast.

"How is it classified to me when I'm the one doing the mission?"

"Miss L/N, your friends are out, waiting for you." JARVIS announced, and I knew my conversation with Nick was over.

"Just remember what they talk about Y/N. Bye kid." he rushed out of the room, and I rolled my eyes at him. Again.

-

I was in school, waiting for people to start talking on my earbug. They were probably HYDRA agents or something. I heard a cough from time to time, or loud breathing, but that's it. I was so bored, our professor was old, she was talking in a very slow and monotone voice.

I was just starting to doze off, when I heard voices.

"Steve, you're back." said an old female voice. It was weak, but so full of happiness at the moment.

I was confused tho. Why in the world would Nick give me task to listen to an old granny talking?!

"Well I couldn't leave my best girl, you know."

"OU MY GOD" I yelled out of shock.

Everyone turned around to look at me, and teacher just raised an eyebrow.

"Uhm, nothing, nothing" I mumbled, covering my face with a notebook.

It was Steve's voice! No doubt! I didn't want to listen to it anymore, but I couldn't just pull out my earphones in the middle of the class. Maybe the professor was old, but man she had an eyes worthy of a hawk. (A/N: I know it's allowed in some schools, but let's say it's not in this one.)

I listened to their conversation, unwillingly, and it was so sad. I found out this granny's name was Peggy. (A/N she heard of Margaret Carter, but didn't know a story, and that she's Peggy.)

I was kinda curious to who was Peggy, but I didn't want to pry more than I am. I felt awful for doing this to Steve, even tho my subconcience kept telling me it's not my fault, I couldn't bring myself to believe it.

"Oh Steve, overdramatic as always." laughed Peggy. It was a genuine laugh, but you could see pain and tiredness hidden behing it. My heart ached for that poor granny. But I smiled through my sadness, because if her laugh. And because she was right.

"And somethimes the best thing we could do is to- to start o-v-ve-e-" Peggy's words were lost in a coughing fit, and silence followed. I was scared of the worst.

Suddenly, I heard the most unexpected thing, and I couldn't control my emotions anymore:

"Steve. You-you're back." said Peggy, while crying, like she sees him for the first time after ice.

Then it hit me. She really didn't remember.

"Well I couldn't leave my best girl. Not when she owes me a dance." Steve retorted.

My eyes started tearing up.

"Miss L/N! Why are you crying?" professor asked me. Oh no. I had a reputation of girl who never ever cried. The "tough guy" as you say. Only few people knew I don't actually have a heart made of stone.

"Oh, no I have allergies, excuse me." I said. I did have allergies, and teachers knew it. So I was supposed to drink a pill whenever you I them.

This time it was no exception, and teacher made you drink them.

Soon after it was the lunch break. I ran out of classrom, outside in front of school, and went to garden to my secret spot. My friend Jon, of course followed me and he lnew where it is. He came and hugged me, knowing it's not allergies.

"Shh it's gonna be okay sis." he said. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I can't." I said through tears. He knew what I meant tho. He comforted me, and later we met up with our other friends and chatted.

Day passed by, and I was on my way home, to avengers compound.

-

I stormed in Nick's office like a hurricane. I wanted answers.

"Why the fuck did you have me listen to that? And who is Peggy?"

"Y/N! What were they talking about?" he seemed unfazed by my outburst.

"I won't tell you a single thing I heard!"

"You have to."

"WHO IN THE WORLD IS PEGGY NICK?!?! WHY DID I LISTEN TO THEIR CONVERSATION?" I yelled.

Unknown to me, Steve came in that moment.

"What is going on?" he asked hearing me yell 'Peggy'.

Fury just gave me a pointed look and stormed out.

"Steve!" I yelled, and ran to him. I hugged him tughtly and silently cried to his shirt, hoping Fury wouldn't notice. I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I kept saying.

Steve held me in his arms, and moved us to living room couch. I was still hugging him and crying. I kept apologising to him.

2nd person POV

"Shh kid, calm down. Shh, baby it's all okay stop apologising." Steve kept repeating, hoping to stop your tears. He didn't know how to soothe you, but he tried. He ran his fingers through your hair gently, and rubbed your back with his other hand.

Slowly you stopped crying. His heartbeat lulled you to sleep, and you fell asleep, sitting next to Steve.

You eyelids slowly opened, and you see a blanket draped over you. You were still sitting next to Steve, while he was reading a book.

"Stevie?" you asked.

"Oh Petal, you're awake. Can you please tell me what happened earlier?" he asked eyes full of concern, his book forgotten.

You slowly tell him everything that happened. This time your cheeks were a little tear-stained, but you weren't full-on crying.

"YOU LISTENED TO WHAT?" Steve was shocked.

He looked really angry, you never seen him like this. He noticed you looked ashamed for listening to that, and his face softened.

"Oh, I'm not mad at you, Petal. Only at Nick. It's completely his fault." he said, and hugged you.

You looked up at him.

"Only at Nick?" you asked quietly.

"Yes kiddo. Only at Nick." he retorted.

You talked a bit more, Steve made sure you lnow it's not your fault. Then you just talked about random things, you were totally relaxed by this point.

You were happy that Steve wasn't mad at you. Sometime later he went out to 'have a word' with Fury. You wouldn't like to know what that will look like. :)

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